Fire Journey: Disrupted

All those well laid plans for 2019 have NOT worked out, but that’s okay, because if I’ve learned one thing in this life it is how to pivot PIVOT pivot(!) and recover.

From January’s negative income month, to February’s barely there income, to the IRS tax bills I didn’t understand I would be receiving and March/April’s giant vet bills for the love of my life Grapie, it’s been one heck of a year!

It’s also been one heck of a year: community support has been incredible. From the friend who showed up with 4 grocery sacks of food to free up money for me to pay for Grapie’s non reimbursable expensive liquid diet, to the friends who demanded a wishlist be put up so they could buy some formula for her, to the AMAZING blog reader Barbara who kindly sent me a letter that saved my life, and friends who called and told me to come take their garage sale pile and sell it. Friends who called and told me there was a wicked clearance and come grab stuff to flip. To my Mustachian friends who reached out and supported me in an incredibly, insane way, that I still not feel deserving of: It’s been one heck of a year my friends.

One thing is clear though: 2019 finances are very different than expected. I was debt free (aside from my house) with an emergency fund and now I’m not sure where I stand. Other than I did re-fund (refund? lol) my Efund first thing. I want desperately to put a plan in place and get moving towards it, but a lot of things are still pending so I don’t have a clear idea of what my debt picture looks like, but while I wait for everything to coalesce into a picture over the next few weeks here is what I am doing:

I gave my best friend all my cards. I have no access to debt producing instruments at this time. Maybe it seems dramatic, but as someone with Bipolar Disorder and sometimes impulse issues this has been a great tool for me. And surprisingly: it removes so much stress and anxiety. While I get all wishy washy about giving them up, once they are gone? It’s so good. SO GOOD. I don’t have a choice. In a world of so many choices, not having one? Not having to make the decisions over and over again? It’s a great relief.

I’m doing a pantry challenge! I have a full pantry due to kind gifts from friends and my favorite pet sitting clients clearing out their fridge before they drop their pups off for their vacation stay. I should have enough for several weeks. As always, I’ll run out of vegetables first and that will make me buy food, LOL.

I’m going to have to run locally more often instead of driving to parks to run in order to conserve gas. There are positives and negatives with this – I love running around my neighborhood as I see new things every time, but I hate running around my neighborhood as the roads have no shoulders, huge ditches, broken class, syringes and debris. I’m always slightly certain I will die. I consider every successful run getting out of there alive.

I have some medical expenses coming up (expensive RX’s) and I’m dealing with hyperactive thyroid issues (heart palpitations, hand tremors, anxiety) related to multinodular goiters so I have extra doctor appointments, lab appointments, and what not right now, so that will factor in to what I ultimately am out of pocket this month, but we’ll pack snacks/lunches and try to be economical about transport and how I work this.

I have a shed full of stuff to list and sell, so I’ll work on that too.

In the wings:
Additional reimbursement from pet insurance. (Additional claims to go out too).
I signed up for a checking account a couple months ago and the $350 bonus should come soon.
Several pending pet sitting invoices (that could be paid soon, or could take 6-8 weeks depending on people).
Several hundred dollars in refunds are pending as well.

That’s where I am. I’m doing what I can to conserve right now while I wait for all this pending stuff to settle down. When I know what I owe I’ll start a debt pay down count down, share a plan, and get debt free again for what I hope is the very. last. time.

My love to all of you. Know that you are not alone. We all face challenges. Our plans go to shit. I am one of those hippy dippy people now who work to find the lesson in all my experiences and am learning to better choose how I respond to challenges and while that doesn’t change the truth of any situation: it enables me to be better capable of handling and PIVOTING.

I got this. You got this. We got this. Bumps along the road. The journey is long, the learning is great. Keep moving forward.


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